This just in from the Splitting Hairs Department: Stroker Ace is a better movie than Days of Thunder. I mean, they're pretty much the same movie, right down to the hero using the exact same maneuver to pass his blow-dried rival in the final lap, (and both movies spawned creepy celebrity marriages between star and leading lady) but Thunder is such a pompous piece of Bruckheimer bluster, it makes Stroker look more charming than it actually is. True, Thunder has the better racing footage, and Robert Duvall trumps Jim Nabors as the mechanic sidekick, but does it have Tom Cruise in a chicken suit? It does not. Plus, Thunder has that vacuum-packed Bruckheimer non-atmosphere, while Stroker is unabashedly redneck. Where are the shirtless, beer-swilling yahoos in Thunder? Feh.

(Sorry, this is all I got at the moment. My life is one long redneck movie these days. And me without a trucker cap.)