Things to remember:

1. This too shall pass, but not necessarily on my schedule.

2. What's done is done and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it now.

3. It could be, and will be, worse.

4. It could be, and will be, better.

5. Lions don't live in the jungle.

6. Everything happens for a reason.

7. Always keep a sock full of manure handy in case someone tells you, "Everything happens for a reason."

8. The famous person wears the same size waterskis as me. She's got three cars, as many years I've lived in this city. Her hair is blonde and mine is brown, they both start with a 'B'. But when the phone inside her ribcage rings, it's not for me.

9. One billion Red Chinese don't give a shit.

10. Repeat as needed.