It's a drizzly cold Saturday afternoon and I didn't feel much like leaving the house, but my obligation to you, my loyal readers, comes first. So I pried myself off the couch and set off to continue my quest to conquer...

Every Bar in Austin

2. Mother Egan's Irish Pub



Mother Egan's is probably best known for its Tuesday night trivia competition (as seen here in A Snapshot From Another Time), but today there wasn't much going on besides college basketball on the big screen TV. Their cuisine has won kudos from the Austin Chronicle for best pub grub, but I'm here to tell ya the veggie burger is mediocre at best.

Drink: One pint of Amstel Light

Jukebox: N/A. A guy sitting at the bar with acoustic guitar played some Beatles tunes.

Overheard: Two hotties at the bar categorizing men they know as various types of dickheads. Indecisive dickheads. Grabby dickheads. Drunky dickheads. One was a dead ringer for Tara Reid, in both looks and brainpower. I would've guessed they were participants in The Real World: Austin, except there was no camera crew to be seen.

3. Opal Divine's Freehouse

I decided to cross the street and kill two birds with one stone. Again, it's all for you people. Opal Divine's is a sprawling double-decker joint with front and side decks. On St. Paddy's Day they throw a tent over the parking lot and host some Irish music, including the once-yearly performance of Austin legends Shoulders. Not much going on today, though.

Drink: One pint of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Jukebox: Neil Young, The Animals, The Rolling Stones

Golden Tee Golf: Three holes, one under par

Okay. Time for a nap.