Moonshine Mountain: The Lost Months

Between May 16 and November 16, 2003, there were no new entries to Moonshine Mountain. What went on during these six mysterious months? We’ve recently unearthed some astounding archival material from the vaults and now, after a meticulous digital restoration process, we are proud to present Moonshine Mountain: The Lost Months.

Friday, May 30, 2003
Embarked this morning on 17-day fishing trip. Traveled to remote location just north of the Canadian border. Supplies on hand: 12 cases of beer, 24 boxes of saltine crackers, 18 hearty wheels of jack cheese, The San Pedro Beach Bums: The Complete First Season on DVD, one banjo, one Learn to Play the Banjo in Twelve Easy Lessons manual, one checkered sportscoat, and the complete Harry Potter series of books on tape, as read by Vladimir Putin.

Forgot tackle box.

Monday, June 16, 2003
Returned from fishing trip a little older, a little moister, but a little wiser.

Friday, July 4, 2003
I celebrated Independence Day in the usual manner, by getting together with my Republic of Texas faction and plotting our secession from the United States. Red suggested the armed takeover of a number of Stuckey’s restaurants along the I-10 corridor. Goober read selections from his proposed New Constitution of the Independent Nation of Texas. Was particularly impressed with paragraph 12 of subsection 72: “Dripping Springs will henceforth be known as Goober Falls.”

Sunday, July 27, 2003
My 36th birthday passed largely without incident, unless you consider drinking 17 whiskey sours and piloting a stolen Jet-Ski into the Bush compound at Kennebunkport while singing “Baby Got Back” at the top of your lungs an “incident.”

Saturday, August 9, 2003
Was I surprised to wake up in a suite at the Circus Circus in Las Vegas this morning with an empty wallet, a raging hangover and a new wife named “Sally Dimples”? You could say I was surprised.

Moonshine Mountain: The Lost Months will continue…