Since SXSW starts tomorrow (the film portion, joined by the music portion next week), I’m gonna have little time to post here, though I will try to comment on SXSW highlights whenever I get a chance. Since the first anniversary of Moonshine Mountain (this version of it, anyway) rapidly approacheth, herewith are some highlights from the past year, presented without context, in the fashion of a Larry King column, for your reading pleasure:

The key to my success: The Chubbchubbs!… Uncle Sam is cornholing me but good this year… Some joker tries to give me the high hat, he'll be finding teeth in his
oatmeal for a month… it’s a veritable golden age for the vertically challenged… Thank you, Squanto!... I would prefer not to have a governor I've seen in tight shorty-shorts… Don't you never eat nothin' that starts with T-U-R-D... If Lill wins, I will shit stuff I have not eaten… Telly Savalas falls into the crowd, nearly crushing a small child with his gold chains… you'd think no one had ever barricaded himself inside the lavatory with the drinks cart before… no futuristic memory eradication for me, thank you very much!... Life? Confusing. Perspective? Fleeting. Moments of clarity? Priceless… Yes, that's your boyfriend's face, but that is not your boyfriend… If drum circles and fragrant hippies are your thing, Eeyore’s is the place to be… I know 17 ways to kill ya with my fingernail!... I don't think he should be eating my socks… Lions don't live in the jungle… One billion Red Chinese don't give a shit… nobody wears Daisy Dukes like Claudia…it was not a great day for democracy.