Hey hey hey, it's Opening Day! It's the rebirth of spring, all the records are even and the beginning of six months worth of getting inordinately worked up over something of no consequence whatsoever! What could be better? I don't usually think of myself as an optimist, but this is the day that proves me wrong. I am certain that Dice-K, Schilling and Beckett will each win 18 games, Papi will hit 60 homers and Coco Crisp won't entirely suck. And at the end of the year, another chance to freak out some people on a mysterious island: