Hey kids! Are you going to be in the Dallas/Fort Worth area on the weekend of February 4-5? Well, come on by the Grapevine Convention Center for Texas Frightmare Weekend! It's gonna be a veritable hillbilly horror heaven, featuring Joe Bob Briggs, Herschell Gordon Lewis, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 reunion and of course, yours truly. I'll be reading from Hick Flicks, autographing copies and selling bootleg whiskey out of the trunk of my car.

Speaking of hick flicks, check this out. Yes, my dream girl is riding the New York subway. Someone give her my number.